100 Results in Socialising

Why I am careful about who I talk to

One way that I have learned to be less affected by my high emotional sensitivity and manage mood swings is to have a calmer, more steady life. Another way that I have learned to better cope with my emotional sensitivity and reduce mood swings is to take caution about who I talk to about myself and my life. Talking to the 'wrong' person can make me feel worse.

Another way of looking at “challenging behaviour”

Throughout my life I have found myself in trouble on numerous occasions. I think this is because other people think that my behaviour is strange, naughty or thoughtless and sometimes the things that I do come as a complete surprise to others. But when people look a bit deeper and try to understand me, my behaviour completely makes sense. I’m no longer “difficult” but someone that is very anxious and has quite severe and complex communication difficulties. The issues surrounding my behaviour usually happen because I have difficulty communicating with people and they have difficulty communicating with me. I have three excellent examples I can think of. The first is when my workplace was organising the local community fair. This is a fair where local shops each have a stand and the fair attracts many people from the community. My workplace had a stand and my colleagues had asked me whether I could help out on the stand. My immediate thought was "no!" I tried to say to my colleagues that I wasn't able to help out but somehow this communication was either lost or ignored and, as what normally happens, I ended up doing something I didn't want to do - in this case, I ended up helping out on the stand at the fair.

6 ways to be a more empathetic person

We can all develop our empathy for other people. It starts with putting yourself in another person’s shoes. This means as though you were them, not as though they were you. Here are some ways you can do this. 1. Focus on the other person’s personality When we are talking to someone, it’s common for… Join The Curly Hair Project Community Today This article and our podcasts are available only to members of our community. If you would like to continue to read thi…

Why might making friends be difficult for autistic people?

I understand that lots of autistic people don't have much trouble making friends, their difficulties are more to do with keeping them. I can relate to why keeping friends can be hard, but personally I think I have more difficulty making friends. In this article I will look at some possible reasons why this is and suggest some appropriate strategies.

How to stop saying things you don’t mean

Saying things we don't mean is a part of masking. 'Masking' is what lots of autistic people (especially females) do in social situations. Arguably the worst consequence of masking - which isn't always talked about - is that it has the potential to destroy relationships. If you are not being your true self when around others, then how can you expect to have meaningful relationships? Let's look at some ways we can learn to stop saying things we don't mean.

Why am I so critical and how to manage it

The most common definition of to criticise is: "to express disapproval of the perceived faults or mistakes of someone or something." People on the autistic spectrum are often described by other people, as being too critical. Someone who is too critical can be a difficult sort of person to be around. I know that I have a tendency to annoy people by pointing out their mistakes all the time, and that I can ruin other people's enjoyment or experiences if we are out somewhere or doing something and all I do is find faults with the situation...

Compartmentalised relationships

I have noticed that other people are much more integrated to their surroundings and their relationships. They can mix their family and their friends (and often involve their family and friends in their work and hobbies). They can mix friends with other friends. This is in contrast to me, in which the different aspects of my life are kept separated. I've noticed that in particular it is easier for me if my relationships are kept separate from each other. I've learned that neurotypical people can feel quite excited by the prospect of meeting new people and introducing them to their social networks and vice versa. Surely this is exactly why people enjoy parties and social gatherings, because of all that "mingling"! I have had quite unusual relationships. I once dated someone for about 2 years and in that time I never met this person's friends or got involved in his social life. I remember my friend thinking this was weird. This was long before I knew I had ASD. It might be a bit weird but it makes sense now why it was this way!

Why small talk matters and how to do it

The definition of small talk is 'polite conversation about unimportant or uncontroversial matters.' Most of us have to make a lot of it! I know that lots of autistic people dislike small talk (including me), but I think it has its benefits and I think there are a couple of tricks you can do to make it a bit easier.

The emotional stages after ASD diagnosis

I'm definitely massively relieved and comforted that I have my diagnosis as it explains my whole life and everything about me, and I have been able to make adjustments that I otherwise wouldn't have thought to make. My relationships with other people and with the world at large are much better now. However, I don't feel quite as happy about my diagnosis anymore.

Can your base social energy level be increased?

In sports science, there's a theory known as supercompensation. It's a way of improving your base level of fitness. The way to do this, it proposes, is by putting yourself through more exercise just after you've recovered from your previous workout. The time of the next workout is absolutely critical - you have to do it after you've recovered but you can't have too long a gap. This blog article was inspired because the way I weight train is very much through supercompensation methods. My base level of fitness increases regularly. It made me wonder whether this idea could help someone increase their base level of social energy. Let's look at it in more detail: