88 Results in Socialising

The 3 ways to connect with someone

I have often wondered why I get on well with some people and why being around others causes stress. When I thought about it, I realised that it was primarily to do with just three things!! I realised that there are three main ways that people can connect with each other and those people who I don't get on with are the ones who don't use any of these ways. I have also made a very good animation to explain this, which you can watch below! The ways can be thought of as levels:

How to help someone avoid masking

Masking is a word used to describe the behaviours by autistic people in order to 'hide' their autistic traits. As well as causing anxiety and exhaustion, another consequence of masking is that other people do not get to see the true person. This is a very sad situation to be in because it can ruin an autistic person's relationships. If an autistic person is never themselves around someone then it leads to the other person building up a false idea of their personality. This makes the other person have expectations of the autistic person that they are unlikely to be able to meet or maintain over the long term. In the end, the relationship is a great stress for the autistic person. In order to have a sincere and meaningful relationship with an autistic person, a neurotypical person could try doing some things in order to encourage the autistic person not to mask, and to help them "come out of their glass jar" a bit. Here are some strategies that I suggest:

How does social anxiety differ for autistic people?

Long before I knew I had Asperger's Syndrome, my GP said I had social anxiety. I did some reading on social anxiety and although it did sort of fit me, it wasn't an exact fit. Most of the literature on social anxiety talked about people who have self-critical, negative thoughts such as... "Nobody likes me" "What if I make a fool of myself?" "I'm such a failure at socialising" I sort of had these thoughts, but wasn't really sure. Those thoughts were probably more linked to being young and feeling insecure generally rather than anything else. As I got older and after I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome I realised that the thoughts I was actually having were more linked to my social communication difficulties rather than believing people to be judging me. I like myself and I know that I am a nice person! So once I fully understood and accepted that I had Asperger's Syndrome, I no longer had those sorts of thoughts at all. The reason for my social anxiety, now that I know I have ASD, is more to do with finding social interactions extremely difficult and overwhelming.

Autistic introversion vs autistic extroversion

I always used to think that autistic people could only ever be introverted. As The Curly Hair Project developed, I soon realised this belief was completely false, because I have come across so many autistic extroverts. In this article I want to discuss why people might have the belief that autistic people are introverted, what the differences are between autistic introverts and extroverts, and how we can possibly support each type so that they have a fulfilling and enjoyable life!

Does talking help?

There is a belief that "talking helps". That has never been my experience. A lot of the time I find that talking about my feelings makes me feel worse than before. I wanted to summarise why this might be.

The Dissociation Effect

The Dissociation* Effect is a way to describe what autistic people might experience during a group social situation. It also describes what neurotypical people might experience in comparison. *Note that 'Dissociation' is a recognised psychological experience with trauma. It is not the same as what I am talking about in this article. Watch our awesome animation to see The Dissociation Effect explained:

To care or not care what others think?

Lots of people care greatly about what others think of them. Most of us from a young age are pressurised to behave and look a certain way and to follow social rules. At school, children who don't meet this strict social 'criteria', tend to be bullied. Adults may be judged negatively or suffer discrimination. Since autistic people tend to be different from most people, I wondered whether they would tend to worry about how other people perceive them.

The 2 most debilitating aspects of social anxiety

Social anxiety is an extremely restrictive condition to live with. Social anxiety, for me, is feeling extremely shy, frightened, awkward, nervous, at both the thought of interacting with someone and during the actual interaction with them. I have narrowed down the 2 most debilitating aspects, for me, of social anxiety to be...

10 ways in which autistic people mask

Masking is the term used to describe the way autistic people behave in order to hide their challenges. I was about to say "hide their 'social deficits''' but I think masking can also mean hiding other aspects of autism as well, such as sensory processing. Here is a list of masking behaviours autistic people might have:

Using different characters to improve social interaction

One concept that I find useful to think about is using different 'characters' to help me get better at social interaction. This can involve a degree of masking but, as I've mentioned before, I don't consider masking to always be a bad thing. The ability to mask helps me get what I want a lot of the time. It is the only way that I get by in the neurotypical world. Here are some characters that autistic people may find useful to get to know from inside themselves: The Observer