87 Results in Socialising

How does social anxiety differ for autistic people?

Long before I knew I had Asperger's Syndrome, my GP said I had social anxiety. I did some reading on social anxiety and although it did sort of fit me, it wasn't an exact fit. Most of the literature on social anxiety talked about people who have self-critical, negative thoughts such as... "Nobody likes me" "What if I make a fool of myself?" "I'm such a failure at socialising" I sort of had these thoughts, but wasn't really sure. Those thoughts were probably more linked to being young and feeling insecure generally rather than anything else. As I got older and after I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome I realised that the thoughts I was actually having were more linked to my social communication difficulties rather than believing people to be judging me. I like myself and I know that I am a nice person! So once I fully understood and accepted that I had Asperger's Syndrome, I no longer had those sorts of thoughts at all. The reason for my social anxiety, now that I know I have ASD, is more to do with finding social interactions extremely difficult and overwhelming.

Autistic introversion vs autistic extroversion

I always used to think that autistic people could only ever be introverted. As The Curly Hair Project developed, I soon realised this belief was completely false, because I have come across so many autistic extroverts. In this article I want to discuss why people might have the belief that autistic people are introverted, what the differences are between autistic introverts and extroverts, and how we can possibly support each type so that they have a fulfilling and enjoyable life!

Does talking help?

There is a belief that "talking helps". That has never been my experience. A lot of the time I find that talking about my feelings makes me feel worse than before. I wanted to summarise why this might be.

The Dissociation Effect

The Dissociation* Effect is a way to describe what autistic people might experience during a group social situation. It also describes what neurotypical people might experience in comparison. *Note that 'Dissociation' is a recognised psychological experience with trauma. It is not the same as what I am talking about in this article. Watch our awesome animation to see The Dissociation Effect explained:

To care or not care what others think?

Lots of people care greatly about what others think of them. Most of us from a young age are pressurised to behave and look a certain way and to follow social rules. At school, children who don't meet this strict social 'criteria', tend to be bullied. Adults may be judged negatively or suffer discrimination. Since autistic people tend to be different from most people, I wondered whether they would tend to worry about how other people perceive them.

The 2 most debilitating aspects of social anxiety

Social anxiety is an extremely restrictive condition to live with. Social anxiety, for me, is feeling extremely shy, frightened, awkward, nervous, at both the thought of interacting with someone and during the actual interaction with them. I have narrowed down the 2 most debilitating aspects, for me, of social anxiety to be...

10 ways in which autistic people mask

Masking is the term used to describe the way autistic people behave in order to hide their challenges. I was about to say "hide their 'social deficits''' but I think masking can also mean hiding other aspects of autism as well, such as sensory processing. Here is a list of masking behaviours autistic people might have:

Using different characters to improve social interaction

One concept that I find useful to think about is using different 'characters' to help me get better at social interaction. This can involve a degree of masking but, as I've mentioned before, I don't consider masking to always be a bad thing. The ability to mask helps me get what I want a lot of the time. It is the only way that I get by in the neurotypical world. Here are some characters that autistic people may find useful to get to know from inside themselves: The Observer

5 ways to be more assertive

Assertiveness means being able to stand up for yourself in situations where you feel uncomfortable or under threat in some way. As a person with ASD, a lot of situations make me feel uncomfortable! I haven't however always been able to be assertive in order to properly manage the situation. Unfortunately I have suffered being around people I didn't want to be around, doing activities I didn't want to do, experiencing little 'internal' meltdowns as my stress levels built up and having no way to cope until I got home.

If I didn’t mask, I wouldn’t speak

I don't like the idea of masking because no one should have to hide who they really are. Individuality should be loved and accepted.  But masking is also a means of being able to interact, and often, if a person did not mask, they would not be able to interact at all.