A social enterprise helping people on the autistic spectrum and the people around them.
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4 Conversation techniques to add to your social script
Posted: 10 months ago
Many autistic people create for themselves a 'social script' to help them know how to interact in social situations. A social script is a guide for planning what to do and say inside a social setting.
The Girl With The Curly Hair uses a social script whenever she meets up with her friends. Specifically, she uses 4 conversation techniques:
Developing a tolerance level
Posted: April 5, 2020
Tolerance can be defined as the capacity to endure something that we find uncomfortable. For the purpose of this article, I will say that we can be tolerant of two areas: 1) Situations 2) Error I think that being tolerant to an extent is a good thing, but I think it's sensible to decipher your own tolerance levels.
How can I adjust to this new way of living?
Posted: March 25, 2020
We are currently living in challenging times, in which there is a lot of change and restrictions. Currently for most people this means only being allowed out of the house once per day for exercise. I receive messages from my friends. There is a trend in what they say. They say something like, "I am well, I'm just trying to adjust to this new way of living." That sentence is very interesting. In my immediate world, not much has changed. My normal life is a life of semi-quarantine anyway! I am sure that many other autistic people also live similar, isolated lives. The greatest change for me has been observing changes in the outside world. Now, when I walk through my high street, it is deserted. All the shops and cafes I would usually go to are abandoned. All the car parking spaces at the sides of the roads, which would normally contain parked cars, are empty. It looks like a ghost town. I remember the last cup of tea I had from the cafe before it closed. I live in London. I have seen all the photos of central London in its abandonment. I know what central London is normally like. Now it is eerie. Another change for me is noticing the change in other people's behaviour. People who live 'normal' lives are no longer going out. People who usually see their family a lot, but are in circumstances where their family don't live with them, are in contact only by phone and internet. Or sometimes through a safe distance of the window as one person stands in the front garden and the other waves from inside the house! It is bizarre. If I do see anyone outside or in the supermarket, I see a lot of people wearing masks. This is now normal. People are looking different. When I go to the supermarket, many of the shelves are empty. I am no longer able to purchase my normal food. Like many autistic people, I tend to eat the same things, the same brands, and I have always tended to buy my food in bulk because I know I will eat it over a long period of time. I'm no longer able to buy large quantities of the food I like. Even on the rare occasions in the supermarket where there are multiple quantities of an item of food I like, I only buy one or two. My diet is going to have to change for the time-being.
10 ways to stay productive at home
Posted: March 19, 2020
With COVID-19, watching the television, listening to the radio and reading the news can make it seem like the world is coming to a standstill. Even if you are stuck indoors, there are still plenty of things you can do to stay hopeful and productive. When you are self isolating or social distancing, you will have more time than usual to do things: 1. Cleaning, cooking, gardening and DIY Many people struggle to get things done normally because life outside the home can get so busy and hectic. If you are stuck at home, now could be a good time to get on with these things!
What “putting yourself in another person’s shoes” really means
Posted: March 14, 2020
There is normally some confusion over the phrase, "to put yourself in another person's shoes." It is confusing because it can be taken in two ways: Way 1) To imagine yourself in the other person's situation Way 2) To imagine being the other person in their situation A lot of people seem to do number 1, but number 2 is actually the better way to get close to someone. If this is confusing, watch our amazing animated film to understand: Am I just an introvert rather than autistic?
Posted: March 3, 2020
I have always been a very quiet person and I am happiest when I am on my own. These are key aspects of introversion, which is feeling energised when on your own, (as opposed to extroversion, which is feeling energised when you are with others). Whenever I am spending time with someone, I can feel my social energy declining, and I am always relieved to be on my own again. Not because I didn't enjoy my time with the person, but because socialising doesn't energise me. Introversion explains a lot about me. Learning about introversion has been really helpful. In fact, before I knew I had Asperger's Syndrome, I just thought that the reason I was so different to others was because I was more introverted than them. However, I have still always felt extremely 'different' to other (neurotypical) introverts - and this is because I am autistic. I created a film to explain the differences between autistic introverts and neurotypical introverts. I hope you enjoy it!
How to help someone avoid masking
Posted: February 22, 2020
Masking is a word used to describe the behaviours by autistic people in order to 'hide' their autistic traits. As well as causing anxiety and exhaustion, another consequence of masking is that other people do not get to see the true person. This is a very sad situation to be in because it can ruin an autistic person's relationships. If an autistic person is never themselves around someone then it leads to the other person building up a false idea of their personality. This makes the other person have expectations of the autistic person that they are unlikely to be able to meet or maintain over the long term. In the end, the relationship is a great stress for the autistic person. In order to have a sincere and meaningful relationship with an autistic person, a neurotypical person could try doing some things in order to encourage the autistic person not to mask, and to help them "come out of their glass jar" a bit. Here are some strategies that I suggest:
Just how big is the autism spectrum?
Posted: February 14, 2020
I have been reviewing some of my resources and, interestingly, I have started to feel a bit uncomfortable about some of the things I have previously talked about! It is amazing how time can change perspective. At the moment, the thing I'm feeling most uncomfortable about is the clear divide/separation between autistic and neurotypical people that I have often created. I have purposely had to emphasise this divide in order to teach people about the autistic experiences, but the divide is much less obvious in the real world. In my work, for the purposes of teaching, I've tried to say, "this is the autistic way" and "this is the neurotypical way." But in the real world there is often no straightforward "autistic way" and no straightforward "neurotypical way." You can't 100% say, "Alis does this because she is autistic", and you can't say "John does this because he's neurotypical." Alis might well do that because she is Alis, and John might do that because he is John. Also, behaviours we observe on the outside are not always accurate representations of what's on the inside. Just because Katie appears "neurotypical," on the outside, it does not mean she is. You cannot easily tell whether someone is neurotypical or autistic. A lot of people put on an act when they are in public. Also, many people have autistic traits but do not have autism.
10 ways to live in the moment
Posted: February 11, 2020
Living in the moment is a strategy that I use to reduce my anxiety. I didn't used to live in the moment but I can say with certainty that ever since doing so, life has confidently been a lot more comfortable for me. Here are 10 ways that I do this every day: 1. Focusing on what I am doing It’s often said that autistic people have an ability to ‘hyperfocus’ (deeply concentrate) on activities. If I am living in the moment then it facilities my ability to hyperfocus. I don’t think about anything other than what I’m actually doing right now. It enables me to create high quality work, get tasks finished and experience satisfaction! If I wasn’t living in the moment, this hyperfocus ability would not be utilised or appreciated (and it’s such an awesome ability to have!).
3 essential things to help your daily life
Posted: January 31, 2020
Olympic weightlifter Michaela Breeze provides some really motivating educational resources. I was watching one of her videos and came across one where she talked about overcoming the battles she faced in weightlifting. She mentioned 3 helpful ideas used in order to get over any obstacles or overcome plateaus in weightlifting. This was obviously helpful to me in my weightlifting, but it also made me think outside the box, and I thought about the way I face my challenges in day to day life. I could say that I use those 3 ideas in weightlifting and also to help me in daily life. Those 3 ideas are:
The Pockets Theory
Posted: January 20, 2020
In music theory, when a person is singing, their words are supposed to 'land' at particular points in the song. When their words don't land on these positions, the singing sounds 'off'. However, there is a 'pocket' around those exact points in which the singer can still sing their words, and the singing will still sound good. I thought this idea was very interesting and it made me think about how it can be applied to everyday life to make everyday life easier for us. Autistic people may be prone to being perfectionistic, wanting things to be very exact, correct and literal, i.e. they want things to land exactly on those particular points each and every time. Let's look at this in a diagram: