72 Results in anxiety

Why a person with ASD might cancel last minute

I often make plans or agree to plans with others that sound OK, might even sound fun, but then when the time actually comes I don't want to go through with it. Throughout my life, I've been known to cancel on people last minute. Even though I like to think of myself as a highly reliable and committed person, I would more often than not cancel events and meetings. Interestingly, as an adult who has come to terms with my diagnosis I have created a life structure that is both helpful and energising. Subsequently, I cancel far less nowadays. In this post, I will talk about some of the reasons why a person with ASD might cancel something last minute and suggest strategies on how to lessen the chance of this happening. For other people, reading and understanding why plans can sometimes cause difficulty for people with ASD, you can help make their life easier too. 

10 ways to ease primary to secondary transition with ASD

The transition from primary to secondary school is thought to be one of the most difficult times for children on the autistic spectrum. Many girls in particular seem to cope quite well at primary school (even without an ASD diagnosis or without ASD even being suspected); and indeed it's far more common for girls to only be diagnosed at or after puberty, rather than before. There are lots of thoughts about why this is but in this article I will write to parents about some of the difficulties that may occur for children with ASD because of the primary to secondary transition and some suggestions on what can be done to make it easier. I would like to emphasise the huge importance of thinking about the move to secondary school well before the time actually comes. I sometimes talk to parents who tell me that their child is "only [age]" [and so] "it's a bit too early to think about that now" but I can assure you that it is not too early to at least be somewhat aware of the challenges that may arise. Many of the challenges can be greatly reduced by preparing early or, for some things, simply by being aware of them. Girls with ASD (in particular) are prone to suffering from mental health conditions in their teenage years. Some of these conditions, such as eating disorders, can negatively affect that person for the rest of their life. If there is the chance therefore, that we can reduce the likelihood of these conditions from arising, we should take it! Here's my advice to parents, based on personal experience of the things that would have helped me:

Choice – a burden or a privilege?

Lots of people like having choices. Choice makes many people feel they have a 'freedom', or that it's their 'right' to have a choice. Choice can make people feel good. However, we have to be more thoughtful when giving choices to people on the autistic spectrum. Often, a choice tends to be a burden rather than a pleasure. One of the constraints of choice is that choice does not define expectations or parameters. For someone with ASD who already has anxiety in daily life, not having clear parameters can add to their anxiety. Another problem with choice is that to decide, or to make, a choice, requires quite complicated mental processes (executive functioning). Neurotypicals tend to have good executive functioning, but it is something that many people with ASD have difficulty with.

How to encourage someone with ASD to do something

A lot of people on the autistic spectrum like routine, repetition and sameness. To give an example of what I mean by this, if things were always entirely up to me, I would never do anything outside my normal routine. I am happy doing a very small number of things, exactly the same things, every day, forever. So, what happens when someone with ASD is interested in doing something but won't, or when their loved one wants them to do something they know they will like, yet they still say no? How can we help ourselves or how can our loved ones best encourage us? For me, there are four main barriers. Here they are and here are my thoughts on how they can be reduced:

Repetitive questioning

It is common for people on the autistic spectrum to repeat questions, words or phrases, or to seem to want to talk about the same thing. In this article, I will discuss why this might be, give examples, and suggest strategies to help. Personally, I do find myself asking the same thing over and over again. For myself, the primary problem is that I do not process social interactions very well (words, language, speech, gestures, expressions...). I can hear the words, but not understand what is meant. I receive the information but there is a delay before I actually understand what someone means. 

Doing the same thing over and over again

I have a little theory which I want to write out! I've been thinking about how I experience pleasure. A friend said to me, "I like doing something for the first time, it feels so fresh and is the most enjoyable." It was an interesting statement and I challenged it. I said, "What about after the first time? Does something get less enjoyable the more times you do it?" He said, "Yes, sort of. The first time is always the best." My reaction to this was: "That's a shame. The number of times I do something has no effect on how much or how little I enjoy it. In fact, if I like something, I will enjoy it just as much as I did the first time." He said, "I love that about you."

What is the difference between anxiety and stress?

A lot of people (myself included) use the two terms, 'anxiety' and 'stress', interchangeably. In my opinion, there is one major difference between anxiety and stress, and that is pressure.

“Why are you so quiet?”

How many of you have ever had the question asked, "Why are you so quiet?" or along those lines? My quietness was commented on throughout my entire childhood - by peers as well as teachers. Yet no one ever suspected I had ASD. People thought quietness was a negative character trait. This is really sad as it can actually be a wonderful, positive trait. I always used to think what a strange thing it was for teachers to remark on, since as far as I was concerned, school was a place where students listened and teachers taught. I never used to say anything, I just used to get on with my work quietly. Why was there a problem? I was getting high marks and meeting deadlines. Even as an adult, the few times I've been in employment, I've had colleagues and employers tell me that I'm "quiet." Well, yes I am quiet, why is it such a big deal to have a quiet personality? "Why are you so quiet?" is such an odd question to ask. I would never dream of asking somebody that. It feels really judgmental. I wonder why people feel that this is an acceptable thing to say? It just seems such a ridiculous thing to comment on. In hindsight however, I understand why a teacher would comment on it. They think something is wrong and that the person's confidence needs to be developed. But never did they suspect it was a characteristic of my ASD. Being quiet can be a part of someone's personality (like mine). There may also be more to it (as in my case, too). Here are some possible reasons why a person on the autistic spectrum might be quiet:

8 reasons why being in a public environment is so hard

Here are 8 reasons why being in a public environment might be so hard, anxiety-provoking or tiring for people on the autistic spectrum. 1. Increased sensory input Human beings create a lot of sensory information! Every single person has a unique smell, they might create noise (for example: talking, shoe shuffling, coughing, music coming from their earphones, them typing on their laptop...), they might generate visual input (for example: their bright coloured or patterned clothes, their motion...). The more people there are, the greater the amount of sensory input there will be. This sensory input will be absorbed and manually processed by the person with ASD, in comparison to neurotypical people who appear to automatically process this input. Basically, the person will experience greater discomfort and has to make significantly more effort.

“Autism” means “self”

The word "autism," comes from the Greek word "autos," meaning "self." I've been thinking this in more depth and there are a lot of aspects to "self", it doesn't necessarily mean selfish nor does it just mean the need to be alone... Social impairments The most obvious etymology of the word describes the social impairment symptoms. The way I describe it is that the social impairments cause the glass jar to exist around every person with ASD. This glass jar makes it very hard to connect with people, even if there is a desire to. Neurotypical people don't have the social impairments - at least not to the same severity - therefore there is no glass jar (it's more like a shell if the person is "shy").