As autistic people, we’re often told we need to “make more of an effort” with others. That “effort” is often a synonym for conformity. Conformity means exhibiting less autistic traits. It means masking and pushing ourselves past our limits so that other people feel comfortable. This is not healthy, realistic or sustainable!
Always have in mind that most of us are already making an effort. We think before we speak, monitor our expressions and eye contact, manage sensory overload and analyse conversations afterwards. The effort we put in is often not visible.
Putting in effort to the extent that we are conforming or pretending to be someone else however, is stressful and exhausting. Relationships are much better if we don’t mask all the time and can be ourselves as much as possible. In order to have relationships like this, it often means finding ways to socialise that do not sacrifice our mental health. Here are some strategies that may help with this!
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