Last year, I started playing squash.
I have no experience in racket sports.
I’ve never done any exercise that has involved other people.
I’ve never gone to a venue to exercise.
And yet, one year later, I am having the time of my life playing squash. It has honestly changed my life!
My childhood
As a child, I was terrified of P.E. My anxiety and undiagnosed autism meant I had zero interest in sport, exercise or anything extra-curricular. I was so exhausted and terrified all the time that I had no desire, motivation or energy to struggle away at anything other than my schoolwork.
Since I’m a fit and active person now, I feel a bit regretful because this was such a shame and a setback. Knowing how vital exercise is to me now as an adult (I’ve lifted weights and cycled consistently for over 15 years), if there had been a way for me to enjoy it as a child, I think it would have given me so many good, transferable skills to help me with the rest of my life and it would have created healthy habits for the ‘future me.’
What does learning a new skill or finding a new hobby teach you?
Like many autistic people, I am extremely anxious about uncertainty, unfamiliarity, doing anything new and socialising. However, when something piques my interest, I can sometimes override this anxiety or find workarounds that enable me to participate in a way that feels ‘safe’ for me. Feeling safe is the most important thing.
With regards to discovering squash, it has taught me lots of things including:
- Physical skills, such as coordination, flexibility, agility, cardiovascular fitness and endurance
- Mental skills, such as concentration, self-discipline and motivation (e.g. to practice alone), resilience and patience
- How to meet and interact with new people
- How to develop relationships through squash
- How to endure different personalities and players of different skill levels
- How to cope with feeling disappointed when people don’t want to play with me
- How to introduce new people to squash and to be patient, positive and ensure it’s lots of fun
- How to manage my own autism and social anxiety when playing squash with other people
- How to understand, prevent and manage squash-related injuries
- That when you play sport as a child, due to the power of muscle-memory and how children possibly learn things more easily than adults, it gives you tremendous advantages playing sport when you are older (I don’t have this advantage, but I’ve seen it with many of the other people I’ve met)
These are just some of the things it has taught me. There are probably many more.
When I look through that list, I can see that learning squash has given me lots of challenges and experiences that I have never really had in other areas of my life before. I really have developed myself so much in the last year!
It hasn’t always been straightforward(!), but overall, I have consistently been able to experience excitement, enthusiasm and positivity multiple times per week! My mental health has improved so much!
Learnings
Even though my own childhood was traumatic and I was limited in the opportunities that were available to me, I hope that the wider societal understanding of autism and support available to autistic children nowadays is far better. I hope that no child will suffer in the way I did.
With the right support available, I’d like to think that all autistic children will have opportunities to learn a new skill and find an activity they really enjoy. We know that autistic people have a tendency to have a few specific or intense interests. They naturally gravitate towards things that might interest them. They have a personality trait that makes them deeply passionate about something and they want to commit to it and learn more.
The interest does not have to be a sport, although pursuing some kind of exercise is definitely a good idea in terms of keeping healthy! Similarly, pursuing an activity that might help someone with a future career can be very useful. But there are of course lots of other skills and interests as well.
I think my own small reflection is that, if you have an autistic child, try to help them find something that they truly like doing and cultivate it. Make it feel safe. Make it accessible for them.
Using my squash example, I found safety in going to a court 5 minutes from my house, going at the quietest time (very rarely is anyone else there when I go) and playing on my own. Those were the ways that I adapted it so that it became accessible to me. Any development (like playing with other people or having some coaching) came much later, and only if I wanted to. Even now, I still play on my own most of the time.
It’s never too late to learn something new
Some people think that when they become adults, it’s too late to learn something new or become “good” at something. If you have this mindset, it’s helpful to change it and remove those barriers and limitations!
There are so many people who learn things later in life. After all, many people change careers. Many people “start” getting fit. There are lots of beginners-of-something of all ages in the world.
Learning something new is good for us!
Taking up squash has given me a purpose in life. As an autistic person, having a purpose is absolutely critical to my mental health. Squash is a part of my routine. It’s something I look forward to doing. It’s something steady and constant I can rely on. Playing it makes me feel that I am working towards something. I am enjoying the journey. I’ve met some really nice people in a structured way.
So, if you are an autistic person and…
- you don’t have a hobby or interest already
- your interest in your existing interest is fading or no longer feasible
- you have some free time available
…you too could ‘take the leap’ like me, be brave and try something new.
You never know, it might change your life!
I’d love to be inspired by anyone who learned something new and it had a big impact on their life. Let me know your story!
Also, if anyone is ever in South West London and fancies trying squash, get in touch with me and we can have a go!!