26 Results in thinking

2 rarely emphasised ways of coping with change

Many people struggle with change and it is well known that autistic people struggle with change even more so. There are primarily two types of change: 1) chosen change and 2) imposed change. The pandemic is an example of an imposed change. If you are interested in learning more about how people react to change, I recommend reading about the Kubler-Ross change curve. The Kubler-Ross model suggests that, after a change, people go through 5 different stages and feel 5 different emotions, and they eventually come to accept the change. The change becomes the new normal and the person gets on with their life. I think that it is quite interesting to note that the way people react to chosen and imposed changes is remarkably similar. Even chosen changes can cause feelings of anger and grief, for example. Although it is helpful to learn how to deal with the emotions associated with change, there are at least two other, lesser talked about, factors that people might benefit from learning to manage. These two things have actually benefited me far more than learning to cope with the 5 feelings in the Change Curve. So I want everybody to know about them! So, here are two rarely emphasised things that happen to us when we go through change and ways to successfully combat them:

How does social anxiety differ for autistic people?

Long before I knew I had Asperger's Syndrome, my GP said I had social anxiety. I did some reading on social anxiety and although it did sort of fit me, it wasn't an exact fit. Most of the literature on social anxiety talked about people who have self-critical, negative thoughts such as... "Nobody likes me" "What if I make a fool of myself?" "I'm such a failure at socialising" I sort of had these thoughts, but wasn't really sure. Those thoughts were probably more linked to being young and feeling insecure generally rather than anything else. As I got older and after I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome I realised that the thoughts I was actually having were more linked to my social communication difficulties rather than believing people to be judging me. I like myself and I know that I am a nice person! So once I fully understood and accepted that I had Asperger's Syndrome, I no longer had those sorts of thoughts at all. The reason for my social anxiety, now that I know I have ASD, is more to do with finding social interactions extremely difficult and overwhelming.

How to more easily collaborate with others

Like a lot of people on the autism spectrum, I have rigid routines and ways of doing things. This inflexibility is actually a method of coping and being able to do things well, rather than me being difficult. If I don't have such rigid plans and sequences, then I feel completely bewildered and nothing gets done at all. But what happens when your workload becomes so high that you feel you could benefit from the help of others? Or when you just feel a bit overloaded generally and could do with some practical support from others? How do you fit these people into your rigid routines? This is a massive problem that I face. As soon as other people get involved in my life, things start to go wrong - deadlines get missed, schedules get disrupted, inaccuracies occur, or people just do the wrong thing despite having good intentions. Often it means I end up having to do more work. It's not their fault though. It's just that, because of my Asperger's Syndrome, my life has to be extremely rigid and accurate. If it's not rigid and accurate then my anxiety becomes extremely high and I find it difficult to function.

Do you control life or does life control you? The Locus

The question of whether or not you can control your life, or how much degree of control you have, is very interesting. Some people think that no matter what they do, that their fate has already largely been determined. Others believe that they can change or direct their future. You could think of these beliefs as two extremes 1) that outside factors influence what happens to an individual, and 2) that an individual can influence the outcome for themselves.  I discovered that this idea is well documented in psychology and is known as the Locus of Control. Understanding of the concept was developed by Julian B. Rotter in 1954. I thought I'd write about it:

What does having no instincts mean?

One of the most severe difficulties associated with autism is the difficulty imagining what might happen in a situation. You could describe this as social imagination or just simply lacking instinct. Most neurotypical people will go into any situation and be able to cope with it on the spot. The situation can be anything, for example going on the train, going to a cafe, meeting friends, going to the GP or going to a conference. In most instances they don't have to do much 'preparation' beforehand, or least not overly conscious or right-to-the-very-last-detail preparation. Autistic people, on the other hand, have a tendency to either overprepare or underprepare.

Linear vs non-linear thinking

I have been reading about the idea of linear and non-linear thinking. Linear thinking is "ordered thinking in which one thought follows another in a straight line". This is in comparison to more non-linear thinking in which thoughts are "a bit more varied and each thought links to another in more than one way". This is my rough summary! Of course human beings and their thoughts are far more complex than this in reality. If I illustrate these two types of thinking, it might look like this:

Autism – a difference or disability?

In the UK autism is a recognised disability. I have noticed that some autistic people don't consider their autism to be a disability. This interests me as I feel strongly that my autism is a disability, however I can also see why people might think otherwise. What is meant by a disability? A disability is an impairment that affects a person's life.

What is meant by ASD ‘thought processes’?

On further contemplation about whether ASD is part of my personality or is it separate, I began thinking about my thoughts. I think that what human beings think about is linked to their personality which pushes me even further to conclude that ASD is a part of my personality. Obviously it is a deep complex… Join The Curly Hair Project Community Today This article and our podcasts are available only to members of our community. If you would like to continue to read this article, a…

6 ways to be a more empathetic person

We can all develop our empathy for other people. It starts with putting yourself in another person’s shoes. This means as though you were them, not as though they were you. Here are some ways you can do this. 1. Focus on the other person’s personality When we are talking to someone, it’s common for… Join The Curly Hair Project Community Today This article and our podcasts are available only to members of our community. If you would like to continue to read thi…

The freeze response to anxiety in ASD

I've been thinking about the Freeze response to anxiety. A lot of people know a bit about Fight and Flight and less people think to remember Freeze. Let's consider Freeze and how and why it might happen to people with ASD.