Social anxiety is an extremely restrictive condition to live with. Social anxiety, for me, is feeling extremely shy, frightened, awkward, nervous, at both the thought of interacting with someone and during the actual interaction with them.
I have narrowed down the 2 most debilitating aspects, for me, of social anxiety to be...
I quite often read that people feel they become more introverted as they get older. I was wondering how this was relevant to autistic people. Let me investigate...
One of the greatest challenges I experience with my relationships is the other person not adapting the way they interact or work with me despite me telling them that I have ASD. It's incredibly frustrating and disheartening having to deal with people who aren't flexible, but it happens to me so frequently that I am used to it.
One way that I have learned to be less affected by my high emotional sensitivity and manage mood swings is to have a calmer, more steady life. Another way that I have learned to better cope with my emotional sensitivity and reduce mood swings is to take caution about who I talk to about myself and my life. Talking to the 'wrong' person can make me feel worse.
There are three very important factors that impact on whether or not I will have a positive and successful engagement. These factors are relevant to any and every engagement - work, hobbies, friends, dating, meetings, etc. It might be very helpful for you to recognise what these three things are. You might find you can incorporate something into a situation that you're already finding very hard and find that it becomes much easier; or you might find it explains why you struggle with one thing yet excel at something else...
I understand that lots of autistic people don't have much trouble making friends, their difficulties are more to do with keeping them. I can relate to why keeping friends can be hard, but personally I think I have more difficulty making friends. In this article I will look at some possible reasons why this is and suggest some appropriate strategies.
Saying things we don't mean is a part of masking. 'Masking' is what lots of autistic people (especially females) do in social situations. Arguably the worst consequence of masking - which isn't always talked about - is that it has the potential to destroy relationships. If you are not being your true self when around others, then how can you expect to have meaningful relationships? Let's look at some ways we can learn to stop saying things we don't mean.
I have noticed that other people are much more integrated to their surroundings and their relationships. They can mix their family and their friends (and often involve their family and friends in their work and hobbies). They can mix friends with other friends. This is in contrast to me, in which the different aspects of my life are kept separated. I've noticed that in particular it is easier for me if my relationships are kept separate from each other.
I've learned that neurotypical people can feel quite excited by the prospect of meeting new people and introducing them to their social networks and vice versa. Surely this is exactly why people enjoy parties and social gatherings, because of all that "mingling"!
I have had quite unusual relationships. I once dated someone for about 2 years and in that time I never met this person's friends or got involved in his social life. I remember my friend thinking this was weird. This was long before I knew I had ASD. It might be a bit weird but it makes sense now why it was this way!
Building a relationship with a person on the autistic spectrum can be a bit different to what neurotypical people might be used to. You may benefit from making some adjustments to the way you communicate and plan things. With some little adjustments and a more open mind, you can have a wonderfully enriching relationship. Here are 10 ideas and things to think about which may make your relationship blossom!
This is an interesting topic of discussion! There's some thinking that people on the autistic spectrum lack emotions. I can say that for me this is true a lot of the time in terms of apathy.
Apathy: lack of interest, enthusiasm or concern
Apathy may be a symptom of an Autism Spectrum Disorder. If somebody has a different world view and experience to the majority of people (neurotypical people) around them, it means they are unlikely to share the same values and desires and have the same motivations. It does not mean that a person is necessarily lacking emotions, but rather that they may feel differently about things and may feel apathetic about the things that stir emotion in most other people.
Written and narrated by autistic author Alis Rowe, full of bright colours and visuals, comic strips and animations… we have managed to simplify and make exciting a very complicated subject!
