Also available as an audiobook.
My family have known me my entire life. They have been by my side at the doctor’s. They have brought me out of shutdowns. They have supported me through depression. Yet, despite being a part of all of these things, they still don’t really know what it’s like being me, having Asperger’s Syndrome. So I wrote this Aspergers Syndrome book. The hardest thing about having Asperger’s Syndrome is that it can seem like an invisible condition. Females, in particular, can be experts at masking their symptoms. Tomorrow I will get up and leave the house, go into work and get on with things, my challenges totally oblivious to the people around me. The next day will be the same. And the day after. I hope this Aspergers Syndrome book will build the bridge between people with Asperger’s Syndrome and the rest of the world. Most people with Asperger’s Syndrome are able and willing to work and live a “normal” life, with the right support and adjustment. The main problem is that most people are just unaware of how they can help. So, let us begin our journey into the wearing but wonderful world that is Asperger’s Syndrome.
“I have read many many books on Asperger’s Syndrome, and this one stands out like a shining star above all of the others. Firstly there are few books written specifically about how AS affects women and girls. This is very important, as I have found the male and female experience with Asperger’s is vastly different. This is the most personal, open and honest account out there, written by a young woman diagnosed with an ASD and touches on many subjects that other books either skim over or ignore. This is what makes this account so refreshing. It has unlocked so many of the mysteries about Asperger’s that many of us might fear asking of a Doctor or a therapist, or even a family member or loved one. I found myself saying yes! yes! yes! so many times. Despite some dark experiences, the message is overall positive. It is simply a relief to feel that others have the same thoughts and feelings that I do, and also to be able to feel a part of the wonderful community of the Curly Hair Project, set up by Alis Rowe in order to provide just this kind of support. This is THE must read for women on the spectrum, their families and their loved ones. Keep up the good work Alis.”
Amazon Customer
I have read many many books on Asperger’s Syndrome, and this one stands out like a shining star above all of the others. Firstly there are few books written specifically about how AS affects women and girls. This is very important, as I have found the male and female experience with Asperger’s is vastly different. This is the most personal, open and honest account out there, written by a young woman diagnosed with an ASD and touches on many subjects that other books either skim over or ignore. This is what makes this account so refreshing. It has unlocked so many of the mysteries about Asperger’s that many of us might fear asking of a Doctor or a therapist, or even a family member or loved one. I found myself saying yes! yes! yes! so many times. Despite some dark experiences, the message is overall positive. It is simply a relief to feel that others have the same thoughts and feelings that I do, and also to be able to feel a part of the wonderful community of the Curly Hair Project, set up by Alis Rowe in order to provide just this kind of support. This is THE must read for women on the spectrum, their families and their loved ones. Keep up the good work Alis.
Amazon Customer
Ordered for my daughter after it was suggested by her nurse, following her recommendation of an ASD diagnosis.
My 15 year old identified a lot and found it very useful. Having read it myself, I found it informative and helpful to better understand my child but I did not personally identify with it (I also have ASD) but, just like the everyday folks, we are all different too! We also grew up in different times (worlds really) and have had very different circumstances and experiences so, that all contributes.
Essentially, if autism is in your life, I recommend reading as much as you can get your hands on because we are all still learning about it and discovering that while, yes, we share a lot of the same struggles and issues; there is also a huge spectrum of difference.
Amazon Customer
I’ve just finished reading your book. I feel so compelled to say Thankyou for your honesty. I’m mum to five girls; all of whom are undiagnosed but at varying levels, I believe, on the spectrum.
My husband is autistic I’m sure and again, never had a diagnosis but all the research I have carried out over the years; as to why he cannot stand physical contact. I’ve felt so rejected for 35 years, but I now know he can’t help this! My second youngest at 13 is struggling,so much so, that she is unable to attend school at all. The mental health team in our county are very certain my daughter is autistic and recommended your book for us to read. My eldest daughter is 24 and has always, I thought, been autistic and reading your book almost certainly guarantees this. She, like you, has gone through periods of extreme depression but has achieved a degree and is managing to live quite a normal life now. In between bouts of depression and extreme ocd, she manages her own home, a relationship and quite a stressful job; rehabilitating people back into society.
I’m trying to get my daughter to persevere with your book, as I want her to see that it’s ok to be different. You have worded everything so beautifully. You’ve been truthful and made a very scared mum feel so much more at ease now. Thankyou Alis
Amazon Customer
These are excellent books to help you understand Asperger’s and the Autistic spectrum. I have both a son and daughter who are on the spectrum (they would have been considered as having Asperger’s until DSM decided to drop the distinction!). We have found the books extremely useful for our daughter as the difference between how a male presents as opposed to a female can be quite marked. There are a lot of books about boys but very few for girls so Alis’s contribution is very welcome. I would have given 5 stars (and to be honest it does deserve it ) but I find the price a little high, especially if you are buying a number of books as they are all useful. That aside they are well written and tackle the subject from a practical point of view. They can be read by both adults and children and by both Autistic and non Autistic readers. Not only do they help us understand our children but they help the children understand themselves and each other.
Amazon Customer
There doesn’t seem to be enough words to give this book the true review and praise that it deserves. I fear we’d be here for a very long time if we tried.
However, this book is amazing and definitely a must read!
Whether you know/love someone who is an Aspie or are looking for clarity for yourself, this book has as other reviews put it, so many “lightbulb moments!” I personally found myself having the lightbulb moment and saying yes, yes, yes throughout the whole book.
This is the first book of this kind I have read and cannot wait to read more. I read the online version but like other readers, I too feel the need to now order an actual physical copy. Having someone explain what could actually be your life instead of theirs is just enlightening.
Having only recently been exposed to the possibility that I may have Aspergers, (something I would never have realised/discovered on my own.) I read this to see if there was any resemblances or if I could relate. Right from the beginning I felt as if this book was written for me. It beautifully explains all the things I feel but have never been able to express in the correct way. I feel I now have enough information to seek a diagnosis. This book answers and explains so much for me and hopefully will allow me to go a little easier on myself in the future.
You will not be disappointed by this purchase.
Amazon Customer
Any one who has anything to do with a female with AS / ASD MUSTMUST M read this book…
There is so little literature out there that is specific to high functioning girls and this book is written by someone who has AS is able to express so brilliantly how the AS world differs from the NT world…
It is such an easy book to read – both readable and beautifully presented with colour diagrams etc….
Saw Alis speak today and she is truly an inspiration…
Buy this, read this – pass it onto everyone in your life… the world needs educating and illuminating about how AS presents in females and this wonderful book really is essential reading…
This should be a required text for all in the Education and Health system… (Teachers / SENCO’s, / SALTS / OT’s Therapists / CAMHS / DR’s Nurses etc… ) There are so many undiagnosed girls out there who are desperate for support and understanding and this book has so much information and insight presented in such a brilliant format.
Great great book which I highly recommend.
Amazon Customer
I caught the end of Alis Rowe’s Radio 4 interview the other day (on Woman’s Hour) and immediately realised that the symptoms she was describing were eerily similar to how I’ve always felt, but at 53 I’d never even imagined that I could possibly have Aspergers or be along the autistic spectrum to some degree – so I bought the book, and how glad I was.
I’m hopeless when it comes to reading – I can never sit still in the silence or quiet, but I finished the book in less than 36 hours. I’ve read many a self-help book and decided part way through, that they always promise much and yet deliver very little. That can’t be said of The Girl with the Curly Hair – it was really easy to read, and very informative. So much so, that my husband is now reading it (as a non Aspie) as it’s perfect for partners to read, to get an insight into the autistic world. I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend it to anyone.
Amazon Customer
I bought this book several years ago when I suspected my daughter (15 at the time) had Asperger’s. Fast forward nearly 4 years and she has her diagnosis, has the knowledge and support she finally needs and is at university, living in halls and gaining so much confidence, it is hard for me to keep up! This book played an important role in getting the ball rolling. My daughter read it and immediately recognised herself and so began her voyage of self discovery. She finally understood why everything had been such a challenge, why she felt different, why she was socially awkward, always on the outside, looking in with no idea how to join in, why daily life was so exhausting and often made her feel physically ill. She had little self confidence after years of struggling and feeling like the odd one out. Now she accepts and understands her uniqueness, manages her anxieties and difficulties and finally accepts and loves herself. It is still a challenge but knowledge is power – thank you for sharing yours Alis!
Amazon Customer
Can’t rate this book highly enough. Huge fan of all work by ‘the girl with the curly hair’. All books in the series are far more user friendly and relatable than anything else I have read on the subject. As a loving Mum of a daughter with Asperger’s I am very grateful to Alis for helping me to much better understand the world of someone with Autism.
Amazon Customer
I was finally diagnosed with autism today (25th February 2016) after really not knowing what was “wrong” with me for the better part of my 36 years on this planet.
This book was key to helping me identify my own symptoms and issues. I have never read anything in which I have so strongly identified with the writer before, it was like a light came on when I took in all of Alis’ experiences and found I was relating to 99.9% of them.
It’s beautifully written, extremely engaging and very powerful. I don’t cry often, but I cried a lot when I read this and worked out that FINALLY someone out there had the same feelings and thought processes as me.
It’s been invaluable in helping me get diagnosed and also helping to raise awareness that women with autism/Asperger’s often fall off the radar and go undiagnosed.
Thank you Alis. Keep up the great work you’re doing and the wonderful writing.
Amazon Customer
I’ve read it cover to cover now and I’m struck by how well Alis describes our AS life. I never knew why I was different and I really struggled with parts of my life (particularly my teen years). Last year we were told my daughter was probably AS and we started to read up and at that point my life clicked. She has now been diagnosed but struggles to understand the world sometimes and this book shows her that she’s not alone, it’s ok to feel the way she feels and shows Alis’ strategies for dealing with the world. It’s a far more useful book than the one suggested by my daughter’s AS caseworker and I recommend it to anyone looking to understand the AS point of view. It also has suggestions for AS’s dealing with neurotypical people which, as a family of four who are all AS, we found helpful .
Go buy this book, you won’t regret it!
Amazon Customer
After my daughter received a late diagnosis of Asperger’s at 18 years, we were left feeling alone and confused with the condition not sure what we were facing. My daughter has read the book and as she also has dyslexia, books are not always easy to read but she has found it easy to follow and it answered a lot of her questions as to why she felt certain ways and found great comfort in knowing she wasn’t alone. By coincidence my daughter is taking the same A levels and about to go to University to study chemistry like the author. As a parent who felt very guilty I hadn’t recognised the symptoms it helped me to understand how differently my daughter thinks and how to deal with certain situations. Aspergers and the traits my daughter has from it has made her the special wonderful young person she is.
Amazon Customer
I really enjoyed reading this book, the book was very informative but written in a way that was easy to read for everyone.
I would recommend this book to everyone, whether they have Aspergers or know someone that does or just to be more informed as we need more books like this one out there.
Thank you Alis Rowe for writing this, I can relate to most of what you said and couldn’t of come at a better time for me, I have been wanting a diagnosis for a while now but doctors have a negative view on this (they say you have managed this long there is no point now!) It is important, it’s the missing piece of the puzzle, it makes you understand your life much more and most importantly it’s a release of calm that you have needed for years.
I shall be buying a few of these books for schools around me
Amazon Customer
This is a really lovely book, giving a very personal insight into what it feels like to live with Asperger’s. As a parent with an adult AS son, I found the book extremely helpful in allowing me to understand more about his day-to-day experience and some of the challenges he faces as he moves towards independence. I love the sections where Alis explains how she thinks about the world and some of the situations that she finds challenging. There were places were I laughed out loud in recognition … Although I’ve read a lot of books on Asperger’s I learned a lot from the Girl with the Curly Hair; I’d strongly recommend that every parent of an AS child reads this book. I’d like to think teachers would read it too. 🙂 It’s an easy read, well-written, upbeat and positive, even though some of the issues addressed are difficult …highly recommended!
Amazon Customer
Being the parent of a teenage girl recently diagnosed with ASD I set about reading as much about it as possible. Some books are incredibly technical and I found that I was skipping pages, highlighting certain paragraphs that related to my daughter, photocopying them and filing them. Selfishly you only want to read the parts that are ‘your’ child… After seeing ‘The girl with the curly hair’ online I realised that she was EXACTLY like my daughter….i bought the book and….every single page resonates…. No need to photocopy pages it was all there….. It made sense of an otherwise senseless world…. It’s not easy, every day can bring a different challenge especially for a teen (18) going into an adulthood which is not welcomed.., but you keep moving forward slowly. This book I would most definitely recommend
Amazon Customer
This is the first book my almost 14yr old daughter has read where she can relate! She finished reading it and was so happy that she made sense!! A must for any child discovering their way around Autism. Not a bad read for the parents too 😉
Amazon Customer
My clinical psychologist recommended I look at the Curly Hair Project resources and I’m so glad I have. I’ve been diagnosed with Aspergers fairly recently and in my 40’s. Of course this book is about Alis’ life experiences yet it has been really helpful in making sense of my own. I’ve been encouraged that sense can be made where it was previously missing and that being exhausted through constantly making an effort to fit is completely understandable. This book can’t remove the challenges of Aspergers because that’s impossible; what it does do is increase understanding and confidence in knowing that I do belong and that is beyond value.
Amazon Customer
Our 17 year old daughter is in the process of being diagnosed. I read the book on kindle and handed the paperback to my daughter. It disappeared to her cave. 4 days later she says “this book is all about me papa,everything is about me.
This book has bought calm and understanding to our family. (plus a little pain and shame for not understanding earlier). An absolute must for anyone in the spectrum, of any age + families.
Thank you so much Alis Rowe
Amazon Customer
Excellent book for those with Aspergers or autism, written by a person who has experience and so knows what she is talking about. It is also an excellent book for those, like myself who want to know about these strange conditions.If you want to know why an intelligent woman of 25, with a first class degree in chemistry, and a masters, still does a paper round and is an accomplished weight lifter, but who cannot compete, then read this book. It is fascinating how people with these conditions constantly speculate and conjecture about life and themselves. This book explains why they do it. A painfully honest book, written by a person who is herself honest and forthright. Rare and appealing qualities in this world of hype,spin,and psychological manipulation.
Amazon Customer
This book was amazing. I was only diagnosed with Autism is September 2020. I am 29 this year. What a difference it has made me feel about life I am not on my own and I can do the ‘normal’ things in life with support. I will be passing this book to my family ad friends to help them understand how an ‘autistic’ person things.
Amazon Customer
Brilliant book and very insightful, interesting and well written. Thank you Alis for allowing us into your world and explaining it so well.
Amazon Customer
This is the best book I have read on Asperger’s Syndrome. I work with young people with autism and I always recommend this book to parents, carers and young people to read. The feedback I get from them is always incredibly positive and some of the parents I work with have said it is like reading about their own child. As the author has Asperger’s you really get a brilliant understanding of what it is like to live with this condition. This book also explains many of the behaviours that people with Asperger’s display and gives the reader lots of “light bulb” moments. Highly recommended.
Amazon Customer
I highly recommend this book to people who are autistic, suspect they may be, and for their friends/family to help gain greater understanding of the everyday life of an autistic person. This book is insightful and I can see so much of my own life resonating with Alis’ experiences.
A professional told me she thought I had autism in spring 2016; my formal diagnosis came early 2017. During that period I found (on social media) The Girl With The Curly Hair. I am truly grateful for that, because I also found that I was not alone in my experiences and feelings, which gave me comfort and a sense of belonging.
Amazon Customer
Having taught for 15 years, I really wish this book had been available when I was first training.
Alis Rowe describes with clarity the pressures and barriers to being diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome. The quiet girl in the class may not be shy, she may have AS. By going through everyday scenarios, Alis is able to help NTs (neuro-typical people) understand what goes on in an AS’ mind.
The book is laid out clearly and has explanations and advice which is clearly laid out and totally accessible.
I think this is an incredibly useful guide for both teachers and those who has a family member on the spectrum.
Amazon Customer
I have a 6 year old daughter with ASD. As her mum all I want is to be able to understand her and be there 100%. Alis is such an inspiration to me as I feel as though I can finally get into my daughter’s head and her world more than I could before.
We need more people like Alis to allow us into their daily lives, challenges and inner most thoughts and feelings.
I will be passing this book onto my daughter when she is old enough to understand. I know it will be a God send for her.
Thankyou Alis Rowe. You are an inspiration to me and my hero. Thank you so much.
Amazon Customer
Really enjoyed this book. I have two AS children one boy and one girl. They present very differently and I found this book fantastic as it gave me a deeper understanding of my daughter having already learned about AS in boys I really needed to read this. Thank you so much Alis.
Amazon Customer
Am re-reading the wonderful @curlyhairedalis ‘s book The Curl With the Curly Hair about her diagnosis of ASD as I redraft my own book “A Place for Everything” about my mum’s late diagnosis at the age of 72. (The book is due for publication next year.) Alis is so warm and wise. Highly recommended reading for #AutismAwarenessMonth.
This book has been a lifesaver for my family. Reading this book has been akin to someone switching on the lights! We now understand how Mum saw the world. Thank you, Alis! I can highly recommend this book to anyone who is struggling pre- or post-diagnosis.
Amazon Customer
Such a fluid book in terms of the easy-read style it has been written in…it flows. What made the book even better was that it felt as though I was reading about myself, and for a woman on the spectrum, this is a big deal to find familiarity in other’s stories and tales of their eccentricities (which do not of course feel eccentric ‘to us’!). I bought the book on kindle, but want a ‘real’ copy of it to treasure, because for me, it is a classic, and will be going onto my ‘favourite books’ part of my book-shelf. I would definitely recommend this book to others who are on the spectrum, and their loved ones also.
Amazon Customer
My first book on the subject of autism and I feel like the penny has dropped on so many things that have been happening with my daughter. Written with such honesty and much appreciated, thank you.
Amazon Customer
Anyone who knows someone with AS should read this. Although you think you understand the difficulties they have it’s only the tip of the iceberg. I found this book fascinating and now have a much more meaningful understanding. School teachers should read this book to help detect children with these difficulties who need more help. Less children would slip under the AS radar if they had some AS knowledge.
Amazon Customer
I am now in my 40s and have never understood why my life has been hard work and social interactions never seem to come as easily to me as others until my daughter was assessed for AS. Reading Asperger’s and Me has really helped me develop coping mechanisms for myself and my daughter and understand why we may feel a certain way in any situation. I have read many books on AS and deal with many professionals on a regular basis but the CHP is by far the best source of information I have found. I have even directed my daughter’s new teacher to the website in preparation for teaching her in September!
Amazon Customer
A ‘must read’ for anyone who wants to know more about autism. I wish I had read it when I was SENCO as I would have made it essential reading for all at the school I worked at. I found it easy to read, Alis writes from her experience and I found it interesting to think of pupils I have taught, giving me a better insight into the reasons for some reactions and behaviours I started off highlighting interesting sections, but ended up with most of the book highlighted! It kept me reading til the early hours as I found it so interesting.
Amazon Customer
I really enjoyed reading about Alis and her experiences of living in this world. I was reading it as my partner has AS and I told her I would read it, to help me to try to understand her better. She also told me that she believes I have it. After reading this I think she is right. I really related to it and can see myself in Alis. It’s an excellent read and I highly recommend it.
Amazon Customer
A truly amazing book! As someone who has only just been diagnosed in later life with ASD, I came across this jewel of a book while I was desperately trying to understand and come to terms with my diagnosis. Its almost as if I wrote it myself; it’s so true to my own experiences in the past and present. I never thought I would read about someone who felt like me, who had undergone the same tortuous experiences through school. Reading Alis’book has helped me to feel less alone and less weird. Thank you Alis for such a remarksble book
Amazon Customer
My Daughter is diagnosed as having Autism Spectrum Disorder, so I purchased this book to learn more about what it is like for someone on the spectrum. I have found this book thoroughly enjoyable to read, it is so informative and explains why my own daughter struggles so much and also how people on the spectrum think. Very well written and easy to read. Thoroughly recommend this book.
Amazon Customer
Thank you Ali’s Rowe for writing this amazing brilliant book. You are profoundly clever, I am so grateful for this fantastic book. You are an angel from God. Keep writing books because you are a naturally talented writer and I adore your writing. You’re beautiful and memorizing. Your honesty is profoundly appreciated. This book is an amazing resource and I will cherish it always as I can relate to so much of it.
Well done 🙂 God bless you
Amazon Customer
This book is amazing! It has helped myself and my daughter understand her better after her recent diagnosis. I think it has helped my daughter so much to read about someone else who experiences life in a similar way to her, it helped her to not feel so alone in this to know there is someone else like her out there that struggles in the same ways. Beautifully written in an easily understandable and truly relatable, honest way. Highly recommended.
Amazon Customer
I found this book really easy to read. At the same time it gives a good insight into how different life must be for someone with ASD and the changes that can make big difference to the quality of someone’s life. The chapters cover a range of subjects. I would fully recommend reading this.
Amazon Customer
This book has enabled me to see the world from the eyes of my AS son. It’s the first thing I’ve read which has given me this insight. It’s only possible due to the author’s honesty and insight into her condition. It is a very brave and engaging account of her life which has benefited me and ultimately my son as I can understand him a bit more. Thankyou for taking the time to write this. It will help many people!
Amazon Customer
This book has really helped my daughter who is austic, it has helped her to understand the daily struggles that the author went through and that my daughter not only has curly hair but has faced the same struggles that the author has gone through. If u have an austic child/ young adult then I recommend this book to read not only for the child but for the parents as well
Amazon Customer
After a difficult period in my life, including being made redundant from a company I’d given my heart and soul to for the previous 16yrs, I began to research the possibility that I may be autistic. Amongst doing many other things, I read several books, of which ‘Asperger’s and Me’ was one.
I can’t remember a book having such a profound affect on me before. It could have been written about me, such were the similarities between Alis’s life experiences, struggles, and emotions, and my own life experiences, struggles, and emotions. I literally couldn’t have written about my own experiences any better than Alis does about her own. This book was the tipping point to me beginning the adult autism diagnosis process at age 48…so yeah, it was literally life changing (I received my diagnosis at the end of 2020).
Everyone who is autistic should read this book. Everyone who thinks they might be on the autistic spectrum should read this book. Everyone who knows somebody on the autistic spectrum should read this book. People who aren’t on the spectrum and don’t know anybody on the spectrum should also read this book. Basically, everybody should read this book.
Amazon Customer
Thanks for everything you’ve written so far. I’m really enjoying Asperger’s and Me, especially as I can explain clearly to friends and colleagues what a “normal mask” is now that I have the vocabulary!
Amazon Customer
I love the way Alis shares her experiences so honestly and in such a matter-of-fact way. I found her insights hugely informative and enlightening. I turned to this book because, the more I read about autism during the process of diagnosing my son, the more the descriptions of autism in women struck a chord with me. Most of what Alis writes in this book chimes with my experiences and, aged 40+, it’s been a lightbulb moment for me! At my age, I have already built into my life many of the strategies Alis mentions in the book. This book has helped me to understand myself and my son better, and has helped me to feel more connected with other people who experience the world in such a privileged way.
Amazon Customer
I bought this book for my daughter but ended up reading it myself first. It was eye opening and very helpful in understanding aspergers from a girls point of view. Thank you Alis.
Amazon Customer
I love your book and it’s been invaluable with helping me understand my daughter. I’m always looking for positive role models for my daughter and Alis is definitely that. Thank you so much