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Making up after an argument – how the NT can help

Posted by: alisrowe, February 20, 2015

arguments-between-aspie-and-neurotypicalArguments can happen inside any loving relationship. A NT in a relationship with a person with ASD will experience different sorts of arguments than if he were with another NT. The way in which the make up happens will also be different to a NT/NT relationship. The aim of this blog article is to provide guidance on how the NT can help settle an argument and make up with his ASD loved one. Often, especially if the person with ASD is upset following the argument, she will react in a way that the NT is not used to. For example:

these steps, from the girl with the curly hair, are shown as examples only. each person on the spectrum is unique and will react in their own unique way

these steps, from the girl with the curly hair, are shown as examples only. each person on the spectrum is unique and will react in their own unique way

She might hide away for days or even weeks. She might send her partner hurtful messages, or angry messages. She might not even acknowledge his texts and emails at all. She might block him on social media sites. This can leave the NT feeling terribly confused and wondering what on earth is going on –

  • is she okay?
  • has she hurt herself?
  • what did he do to deserve this?
  • how can he help resolve things if she won’t even let him see her?
  • is the relationship over?
  • he might recognise what he did was bad but was it so bad he deserves treatment like this?

This blog article will focus on when the NT has done something that has upset his (ASD) partner, regardless of whether his intention was good.

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