78 Results in Thoughts, Feelings & Behaviour

How to tolerate other people’s points of view

When a person has autism it means that they think differently from others. A simple way to understand this is to imagine that there are 20 people in a room. Out of those 20 people, 1 person is on the autistic spectrum. 19 people are thinking one way and the individual on the spectrum is thinking another way. How do you think these circumstances might make the person on the autistic spectrum feel or behave? Maybe... self-righteous and judgmental, confused, isolated and 'different' or doubtful. Here are some ways and suggestions on how to manage these feelings. Most autistic people will probably experience these feelings to different degrees at some point in their life:

The problem is ‘how’, not ‘what’

One of the greatest challenges that affects me on a day to day basis, and has done throughout my whole life, is not knowing ‘how’ to do something. Not knowing how to do something is a problem that many autistic people have and that many neurotypical people overlook or do not understand. For instance, when… Join The Curly Hair Project Community Today This article and our podcasts are available only to members of our community. If you would like to continue to read th…

What is it like to be a literal thinker?

Literal thinkers interpret what others say based on the precise or factual meaning of the words used, as opposed to the implied or metaphoric meaning. People on the autism spectrum are often associated with having literal thinking. Some neurotypical people also have literal thinking. Literal thinking has nothing to do with intelligence. One great struggle that comes from having literal thinking is that it can be incredibly difficult to interact with others. Communication becomes very confusing.

How to be a more constructive thinker

In any situation, we always have a choice over how we behave. We can try to choose to think constructively or we can think destructively. Consider it as though our thinking is either a tool (useful and empowering) or an obstacle (harmful and disempowering). Once this concept is understood, it gives us the ability to positively change our lives. By thinking and behaving as constructively as possible, life can be constructed in the way that we want. Thinking and behaving in a destructive way, on the other hand, can make life worse.

The 4 phases of a meltdown

Having done quite a lot of research into the subject, I started to see that there may be a trend in the way autistic people experience meltdowns. The trend that I noticed was that there seems to be different 'phases' of a meltdown. I wonder whether if people are able to identify these phases and understand them, they will be able to anticipate and manage their meltdowns better. Might it also be true that if someone identifies and treats a meltdown early on then some 'symptoms' might be prevented? A person might also find that they will be able to anticipate the duration of their 'attacks', which can help them better plan their life and know when they'll be back to normal.

Using masking in order to communicate (animation)

Masking is sometimes the only way that an autistic person will be able to interact with other people. I made an insightful animation to explain this idea. Watch it below:

The Doughnut Theory

The Doughnut Theory is an idea for explaining tendon pain. It resonated with me and I thought it could be used to help us think about our approach to our autism… It basically means, “treat the ring, not the hole.” The hole is something that cannot be changed or influenced. Therefore, trying to “treat” it won’t work. Consider the hole of the doughnut to be the parts of you that can’t be changed, maybe some of your autistic traits for example?

Why it might not be a good idea to compare yourself with others

Over the years, something that has caused me to feel very unhappy and anxious is that I was comparing myself with other people. What I say now and the philosophy I adhere to whenever I think about comparing myself to others is: "I will only compare you to you" (or "I will only compare me to me") This is a very powerful line. I will talk about what it means in this article. Autistic people are prone to comparing themselves to others, but this can lead to poor self-esteem and anxiety. In this article, I provide strategies on how to stop comparing yourself with others and explain why the only person you might find beneficial to compare yourself with is you!

Understanding your personal ceiling

In psychology, the term 'personal ceiling' describes the metaphorical barrier between where a person is now and where they want to get to. I suppose I could also use my glass jar analogy to describe this. My glass jar seems to have many different meanings! It has been a very useful idea! Feel free to use either of the diagrams below in your understanding of the personal ceiling, whichever one makes more sense to you:

The importance of good habits

Positive habits are hugely significant in helping us along in life. They teach us to be disciplined and responsible and encourage us to put the values that drive us into practice. These attributes make it easier to achieve our goals. One positive aspect of being on the autism spectrum is that many of us are naturally inclined to want routines and consistency. One of the criteria for being diagnosed with autism is the person must have "restricted, repetitive behaviours or activities." Therefore, I think some autistic people can often have a slight advantage over neurotypical people because they may be more inclined to create habits that contribute to getting things done consistently. Three things are needed in order to have positive habits: