61 Results in Parenting

Why can’t autistic people say how they are feeling?

Autistic people can have a lot of difficulties and can be severely impaired in daily life. They can feel highly anxious everyday. The sad thing is that even the people closest to them may not know what they are going through. I suppose there is a similarity here to some of the experiences that depressed people have. In the media, we often hear stories of people who have struggled severely with their mental health but that their family and closest friends were unaware. This brings me to the first reason why an autistic person might be unable to tell their family how they are feeling:

10 things I wish my teachers had known

Recently I took part in an interview which asked me about my school days. There were some really good questions and the interview made me reflect on my school experiences when 1) I was just a child and 2) I didn't know I had Asperger's Syndrome. I know now I have Asperger's Syndrome. Now I have discovered a lot of strategies to help me live with my condition. I thought if I wrote an article that highlighted some things my teachers could have known about me, then this might be helpful to some teachers (and parents) now.

The 4 phases of a meltdown

Having done quite a lot of research into the subject, I started to see that there may be a trend in the way autistic people experience meltdowns. The trend that I noticed was that there seems to be different 'phases' of a meltdown. I wonder whether if people are able to identify these phases and understand them, they will be able to anticipate and manage their meltdowns better. Might it also be true that if someone identifies and treats a meltdown early on then some 'symptoms' might be prevented? A person might also find that they will be able to anticipate the duration of their 'attacks', which can help them better plan their life and know when they'll be back to normal.

Understanding separation anxiety

Something that I remember very strongly from my childhood is a feeling of anxiety whenever my parents left me anywhere, such as to drop me off at school or when they went out for a while. As an adult, I still have that feeling of anxiety even now about my parents. I also sometimes feel anxiety when I am spending time with someone and the time is coming to an end. Saying "goodbye" can be really hard. It is obvious now why such situations make me feel so anxious. The anxiety is largely caused by the transition from being with someone to being apart from them. I have learned that transitions can be incredibly hard for autistic people. The Covid-19 lockdown will likely have emphasised feelings of separation anxiety for autistic people. For example, they might have been separated from family and friends who were part of a routine. And, as the lockdown is eased, autistic people will have to get used to being apart from those they live with because of the return to school and work.

Are autistic people more likely to have gender dysphoria?

Gender dysphoria (GD) is the condition where a person experiences discomfort or distress because their biological sex does not match with their gender identity. A person born female may identify as a male and a person born male may identify as a female. There is some thinking that there is a link between ASD and GD. However, there is very little evidence and results are unclear. I have some thoughts on why there may be such a link:

Food crazes and autism

Eating can be another challenge that comes from having autism. One of the challenges that I personally have is having a craze about particular foods. This means that I eat the same thing for a long period of time. The positives of being like this are that 1) I always know what I'm going to eat and 2) it's easier to manage my money. But there are some drawbacks as well:

How to develop self-confidence and belief

People on the autistic spectrum are prone to suffering from low self esteem. This usually stems from childhood, where a child who does not fit in, such as someone who is autistic, is likely to be bullied. Many autistic people are really interesting individuals with useful and sometimes amazing skills. So how can we help someone who is autistic appreciate their uniqueness and skills and therefore become more confident and have a stronger belief in themselves?

Another way of looking at “challenging behaviour”

Throughout my life I have found myself in trouble on numerous occasions. I think this is because other people think that my behaviour is strange, naughty or thoughtless and sometimes the things that I do come as a complete surprise to others. But when people look a bit deeper and try to understand me, my behaviour completely makes sense. I’m no longer “difficult” but someone that is very anxious and has quite severe and complex communication difficulties. The issues surrounding my behaviour usually happen because I have difficulty communicating with people and they have difficulty communicating with me. I have three excellent examples I can think of. The first is when my workplace was organising the local community fair. This is a fair where local shops each have a stand and the fair attracts many people from the community. My workplace had a stand and my colleagues had asked me whether I could help out on the stand. My immediate thought was "no!" I tried to say to my colleagues that I wasn't able to help out but somehow this communication was either lost or ignored and, as what normally happens, I ended up doing something I didn't want to do - in this case, I ended up helping out on the stand at the fair.

How to be more resilient

Resilience ('the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties') is an extremely helpful character trait for any human being to have. With the hypothesis that a person with an ASD has more difficulties than a neurotypical person, I would very much say that resilience may be an even more vital trait for us to possess. So how can we help autistic people become more resilient? Here are the 9 things you might need. I have recently come across something called Nine Things All Young People Need by Professor Michael Ungar. These are 9 things thought to make any person have resilience. I thought I would look at each of these things and highlight ones that are likely to be missing for a person who is autistic and give some ideas on how they could be achieved or adapted. The overall aim being - how can a person who is autistic best achieve these 9 things and hence become a more resilient person?

How to help someone who is in shutdown

In comparison to meltdowns, shutdowns are not talked about much in literature about autism. For many people on the autistic spectrum and their families however, shutdowns are a significant aspect to learn to cope with. What are shutdowns? They might be different for different people but some things to look out for might be: Becoming unresponsive Being unable to talk Being unable to think A need to be alone Appearing 'lost in one's own mind' A massive lack of physical and mental energy