Some people think that just because two people have the same condition or disability that they will be friends, guaranteed. This is not the case, however those with the same condition as themselves will indeed often be more empathetic and understanding of their day to day challenges.
Because of the nature of the curly hair project and my career, I end up socialising with others on the spectrum a lot. Although most of what I do feels deeply rewarding and fulfilling, there are times where I feel completely disconnected from everyone. These times all have one trigger, and that is when I write or talk about something and people with ASD disagree or can’t relate to it. I completely understand that no two people (ASD, NT or otherwise) are the same. I understand that everyone has their own opinions and perceptions of the world. I understand that I cannot realistically expect for everyone to agree with everything I say. But I once (naively) hoped that there would a lot more similarities and connections between myself and others with ASD than there would be between myself and neurotypicals.
What I have found is that no two people on the spectrum are alike. Although we do all share the triad of impairments and we do all tend to steer towards the same sorts of traits, the severity and the combination of the traits, as well as the way they manifest, can be totally unique to each person. Unfortunately, this can lead to me being very unhappy because I end up feeling extremely alien, extremely disconnected, and extremely lonely.